 | This is an essay. It contains the advice or opinions of one or more Wikipedia contributors. This page is not an encyclopedia article, nor is it one of Wikipedia's policies or guidelines, as it has not been thoroughly vetted by the community. Some essays represent widespread norms; others only represent minority viewpoints. |
 | This page in a nutshell: Respect the pronouns that editors request for themselves. Alternatively, just refer to everyone as they. |
Most speakers of English prefer to be referred to by a given set of third-person pronouns.[1] Sometimes this is referred to as preferred pronouns, but this essay will use the term requested pronouns, since for most people these are more than a preference.[2] Requested pronouns are often thought of as a phenomenon peculiar to the transgender and non-binary communities, but this is not the case; almost all cisgender people request a set of pronouns, explicitly or implicitly—typically he/him for men and she/her for women.[3]
Misgendering is the act of referring to someone as a gender that they are not. One common form of misgendering is doing so by using incorrect pronouns, such as calling someone a he when she requests to be called a she.[4] Again, this is often thought of as an issue that is exclusive to the transgender or non-binary communities, but almost any cisgender woman on the Internet can tell you a time she was called a he.
In most of the world, intentionally misgendering is seen as a serious insult, including in the cultures that most editors of the English Wikipedia come from. In many professional circles, intentionally and maliciously misgendering a person is seen as a serious disciplinary issue. These norms can be surprising for people who are not from these communities, or who came of age before these norms became commonplace.
Misgendering can cause conflict on the English Wikipedia. It is widely accepted that intentionally and maliciously misgendering an editor is a severe civility issue, and could lead to a block or other sanctions.[5] That being said, we should understand that misgendering isn't always intentional, and assume good faith at all times unless there is evidence that the misgendering was intentional and, consequently, uncivil and disrespectful.
- ^ This is often shortened to just "pronouns", although usually that term encompasses first- and second-person pronouns as well. However, almost all English-speakers, even those who take third-person pronouns other than he/him or she/her, refer to themselves as I in the first person, and are fine being referred to as you in the second person. There are very rare exceptions; this essay can be applied to them analogously, but it does not explicitly discuss them.
- ^ The term preferred pronouns can still be applicable if someone is okay with multiple sets of pronouns but prefers one over the other(s).
- ^ It is possible to be cisgender but still not take the pronouns associated with your gender; it's just uncommon.
- ^ This does not necessarily include using gender-neutral pronouns for someone whose pronouns you don't know, or referring to everyone by gender-neutral pronouns. See § Across-the-board practices.
- ^ On at least one occasion, misgendering of editors has been a contributing factor to a siteban by the Arbitration Committee.